Dallenbach suggests we’re all blinder than a bat in a blackout when it comes to the future, that is until it smacks us right in the face and seems so obvious that you can't unsee it. A bit like the image above. It’s like staring at a grainy Rorschach blob until someone mentions that it's a cow. Suddenly, that is all you can see. We can’t predict the future until it arrives, awkwardly and obviously. Just as nobody saw Zoom replacing transatlantic travel for one hour meetings until a pandemic turned us all into pixelated squares, what else is on the horizon and which is more bat and which is more bat signal?
Ai Blocking Fashion: Wear Your Privacy on Your Sleeve.
Facial recognition is so last year. In 2025 Ai will ID you via your heartbeat and your breath. Transformative for health tech and things like early heart attack detection but slightly terrifying for everyone else. The next generation of connectivity, 6G, won't be about making your phone stream your Cash In the Attic boxset more smoothly, it will be about reading human biometrics at scale. To combat this intrusion will we see a rise in L'Oreal Surveillance Camera Creams - because your privacy is worth it - and other Ai blocking accessories? Think T-shirts with blocker-patches over your heart and other vital organs, keeping yourself to yourself and your identity a secret. The tin foil hat brigade has been around for decades and the launch of Ohmni in 2024 saw MIA go all in with stealth hoodies and silver shield trousers; will 2025 see it finally go mainstream with a Gucci x Perma Foil collab?
Genetic Paparazzi: Chewed Gum Today, Bioweapons Tomorrow.
Think hacking your Instagram is invasive? Wait until your DNA gets swiped. Thanks to the boom in genetic testing and ancestry platforms like 23andme, your genetic blueprint is as secure as an unattended Mars Bar at a dog's dinner. 23andMe got hit with a cyber heist in 2024, spilling 7 million identities onto the dark web’s sketchiest auction houses where even sketchier types bid for, usually celebrity, DNA for most probably nefarious purposes - let me know if you can think of any other purpose. The University of Maryland has dubbed this phenomenon "genetic paparazzi" predicting a future of celeb stalkers who don't just settle for blurry photos; these folk are collecting celeb DNA - in the form of hair strands off hotel pillows and discarded chewing gum - engineering viruses that target only them and demanding a crypto ransom for the antidote. World leaders and politicians refusing DNA collecting covid tests and Madonna's DNA clean up crew suddenly seem legit. Anyone for a Hunger Games x Jurassic Park x Black Mirror three way in 2025?
$weet Dream$ : Sleep Is For Sale
Welcome to 2025, where marketing tiptoes into your dreams. Cambridge University researchers have figured out that exposing people to certain sounds and stimuli can manipulate their nighttime visions. That earworm you heard all day becomes a full-blown cinematic experience during sleep. The good news - free dream content. The bad news, it's sponsored by Doritos.
The Smart House that pays the rent.
Your home will be your side hustle, full of smart appliances that will earn money while you sleep, are at work or on holiday. Instead of lying dormant while you’re otherwise engaged your appliances will rent out their computing power. On their own the processing power is tiny but when connected to thousands, if not millions of other appliances the collective power can execute more complex tasks. Your fridge? It works for NASA harvesting asteroids. Your microwave? A blockchain miner. Your dishwasher is out curing cancer. Big Brother may be watching, but at least he’s earning you passive income.
Three not so imaginary boys.
The future looks like a mashup of The Jetsons, Blade Runner and an elaborate April Fool’s joke. Here's to tinfoil fashion, sponsored dreams, DNA pirates and a fridge that earns more than you.